One day Deborah, my four-year-old daughter, came into my bedroom while I was getting ready. She took one look at me and went back into her room. A few minutes later, she came back with a different shirt on. She said, “look mom, now we both have on shirts with owls. WE MATCH”. She was so excited. She was so proud. For the rest of the day, she told everyone that “we were matching. We were the same”.
I remember thinking to myself, “this isn’t good. I don’t want her to be like me. She can’t be like me”
“I don’t want her to have the feelings of insecurity that I had as a young girl growing up. I don’t want her to make the same mistakes I made. There are a lot of people she should try to be like, but I’m definitely not one of them.”
“No, I don’t want her to be like me”
I immediately recognized (from years of therapy) that the negative tape was playing in my head. It was seeking to discourage me. To hold me hostage in feelings of guilt and shame. To bind me to something that I already broke free from.
To reduce my life to the sum total of all my failures and mistakes
But I’ve been down that road before. The enemy always tries to remind me of my past in an attempt to abort my future. He’ll try anything to prevent me from walking in the fullness of God’s promises for my life. He knows my weakness – the thoughts that run through my head.
I don’t want to be shackled by the secrets of my past. So I face them. And every time I face them, they become less of a secret. And I become a little freer.
I’m so glad that “there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus”. (Romans 8:1)
The truth is…If the SON sets me free, I AM free indeed (John 8:36)
I’m proud of who I am in Christ Jesus
And I’m CAPABLE of being Deborah’s mom and her role model too