“I’m leaving Facebook”, I told my friend during a recent conversation. “Why?”, she asked me with the slight sound of surprise in her voice. “Because I don’t like the way it makes me feel”, I said with a slight sound of embarrassment in mine.
The truth is…
I haven’t felt good about Facebook for a while now, but I can’t stop myself from grabbing my phone, hitting the “f” app, and meandering through the lives of my thousand closest friends. I’m praying about this. Seriously, I am.
Why does scrolling through the lives of other people make me feel so bad?
At first, I thought it was my friends. There must something wrong with the friends I have on Facebook. Yeah, that’s it. There’s something wrong with all thousand of them. It’s not me, it’s them.
I know. It’s probably me.
OK. It’s definitely me!
The truth is…I feel so inadequate when I look at my life and compare it to the lives of people around me. I look at their posts and think to myself, “I should be doing that. I should be going to that conference or attending that meeting. I should be going to that event or reading that book.” I see the way other people are living their life and I want to be like them. I want their journey to be my journey and when it isn’t, I feel inadequate.
The more I scroll, the worse I feel.
The other day I was reading and came upon 1 Samuel 17. It’s a familiar story in the Bible. The story of David and Goliath. David, the youngest son of Jesse, was sent by his dad to take food to his brothers who were fighting against the Philistines. When he arrived, he learned that all the Israelites were afraid to go up against the mighty warrior – Goliath. David tells Saul, the king, that he will fight Goliath. After a brief conversation, Saul dresses David in his ARMOR. He gives David his tunic, his coat, his bronze helmet, and his sword. David tries to walk around in Saul’s ARMOR, and says, “I cannot go in these, because I am not used to them.” David then gets his ARMOR: a staff, five stones, and his sling. We all know how the story ends. David defeats Goliath with stones and a sling.
Then it dawned on me…
I’m trying to wear SOMEONE ELSE’S ARMOR and it doesn’t fit. I can’t walk. That’s why I feel so bad. I put on their tunic, their coat, and their helmet and wonder why I don’t get the same results. Like David, I need to acknowledge that “I can’t go in these.” I need to take off their ARMOR and pick up my own. David’s inability to use Saul’s ARMOR to fight his battle reminds me that I must wear the ARMOR that God gave me.
I can’t go in SOMEONE ELSE’S ARMOR!
“Then Saul dressed David in his own tunic. He put a coat of armor on him and a bronze helmet on his head. David fastened on his sword over the tunic and tried walking around, because he was not used to them. “I cannot go in these,” he said to Saul, “because I am not used to them.” So, he took them off. Then he took his staff in his hand, chose five smooth stones from the stream, put them in the pouch of his shepherd’s bag and, with his sling in his hand, approached the Philistine.” (1 Samuel 17:38-40 NIV)
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