Amazing & Awesome

I was sitting on the shuttle headed to the Port of Galveston in Texas. My family and I were on our way to a 7-day vacation aboard the Liberty of the Seas Cruise Ship. It takes about an hour to get from the Houston, TX airport to the Port of Galveston. About thirty minutes into the trip, my mom passed a piece of notebook paper to me. “It’s from Gianna”, she said. Gianna is my 12-year-old niece.

I opened up the note and it said:

As I was reading the note, all these thoughts ran through my mind: “I’m NOT amazing and I’m definitely NOT awesome. I might be fun, but I’m NOT funny. I can be nice, but I’m NOT cool. I’m actually overweight. I need to exercise more. I need to eat better. I’m going to look awful in my bathing suit”.  And the negative thoughts kept running through my mind.

I quietly tucked the note in my book and went back to reading

Every morning on vacation, I got up to watch the sunrise. One morning I was praying about something God put on my heart to do and I was struggling. I was feeling insecure, inadequate, and incapable. I asked God for the knowledge, wisdom, and strength to be bold and courageous. As I was praying, Gianna’s note came to mind. God reminded me that I’m fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14) and that I don’t’ have to look far to see His affirmation in my life.

He reminded me that His “truths” are revealed in the simple things of everyday life. A word of encouragement from the cashier at the grocery store, an inspiring post on Facebook, and even a seemingly insignificant note from a child. I was asking God for affirmation and He already sent me a note a few days earlier. He knew I was going to need a word of encouragement so He sent it my way. I was praying for something that was right in front of me and I almost missed it.

I don’t want to miss the “truths” of God’s word in my life – so every morning

I silence the negative tape that plays in my head seeking to discourage me from being all that God called me to be. I intentionally look to see and listen to hear God in the everyday moments of my life.

I remind myself that I AM THE AMAZING, COOL, NICE, AWESOME, FUN, and FUNNY Aunt Karris

And that I’m capable of doing the things God requires of me today

Gianna (my niece) thinks I’m AWESOME and God does too

Karris 

Nanook

The other day my mom and I were sitting at the dinner table. My computer was in front of me and I was working on my blog. I was thinking about the title and playing around with different word placements. I was actually a little frustrated because I couldn’t think of a catchy, attention grabbing name for my blog. I was trying to make connections between my name and the blog and wanted a deeper understanding of how my name came to be. I asked my mom to tell me every detail she could remember.
 
I wanted to know the whole story behind my name
I’ve heard it several times before. My dad’s name is Harrison and he wanted to call me Karrison. My mom didn’t like the name Karrison and my dad suggested the name Karris. My mom said okay. It was a simple story. But this time her response was something I had never heard before.
She said:
“Your father wanted to call you Karrison, but I was afraid people would call you Kerosene. We went days without choosing a name for you. Almost five days to be exact. It took us so long to choose a name that a nurse wrote “Nanook” on a piece of masking tape and placed it on your bed. The nurses called you “Nanook” because they said you looked like an Eskimo. When your father came up with the name Karris, I wasn’t comfortable with that name either. Karris was a strange name. I never heard it before. It was different. It was weird. It didn’t sound like a real name. I was talking with your grandmother at the hospital and told her about the name Karris. She said she would find out what it meant. I can’t remember if she called on the phone or came to the hospital, but she told me it was a Greek word and had a biblical meaning. I don’t know if we talked about the meaning of Karris (grace), but I remember feeling good about the name because it had a biblical reference.”
In my forty years (almost forty-one years) of life I’ve never heard the intimate details of how my name came to be. I didn’t know it took almost five days to decide on my name. I didn’t know the nurses called me “Nanook” and I didn’t know so much thought went into what my name would be.
 
But God knew
When I think about the meaning of my name and how much thought went into it, I’m reminded of Jeremiah 1:5.
Before I formed thee in the belly I knew thee; and before thou camest forth out of the womb I sanctified thee, and I ordained thee a prophet unto the nations. – KJV
Just like God knew Jeremiah before he was formed in the belly, God knew me. He knew what my strengths and weaknesses would be. He knew all about my failures and successes. And just like Jeremiah was sanctified (set apart) to be a prophet to the nations, God set me apart too! Like Jeremiah, I struggle with confidence and feelings of inadequacy. I don’t feel up to the calling God placed on my life. Sometimes I feel so unworthy!
So every day I remind myself
Before I was formed in my mom’s belly, God knew me. Before I camest forth out of my mom’s womb, He sanctified and ordained me for a purpose. I’m capable of doing everything that God asks of me today because He created me. And God doesn’t make mistakes!
My grandmother’s name is Grace, my sister’s middle name is Grace and my name means Grace. The legacy and promises of God’s grace, His “unmerited favor”, has been with me since the day I was born.
God knew I would need a daily reminder of His GRACE in my life so HE called me Karris

Unmerited Favor

Hi, my name is Karris and welcome to my blog! I’ve been agonizing over this blog for the last four years. I felt God telling me to write, but I couldn’t bring myself to actually sit down and write anything. What will I say? What will I call it? Will people read it? Do people like me? Am I smart enough to write a blog? And the questions and thoughts of doubt kept coming. The fear of what would happen if I sat down and shared my thoughts has haunted me for years.

However, 2016 has been a different kind of year for me. I’ve been working with a professional counselor “of some sort or another” for the last four years and working through a lot of my issues.

Yes, I have issues! 

I’ve been praying and asking God to reveal his will for my life. I’ve been intentional about clearing the clutter in my head and making room to actually HEAR GOD when he speaks to me. I’ve been removing items from my “to do list” and slowing down so I can actually SEE GOD at work in my life.

I’ve been amazed at how visible God is when I slow down and make room for Him.

I’m not sure what’s going to happen in this blog. I’m not sure what I’m going to write. But God knows. And today I’m surrendering my life to His will. I’m not thinking about five or ten years from now. I’m taking the next step and simply writing this blog!

I’ve been spending the last few months thinking about what to call this blog. And it finally came to me…

There’s an interesting story behind my name. I won’t get into the whole story right now – that’s my next blog post, but I will tell you one thing. The word “Karris” in Greek is pronounced (khar’-ece) and spelled Charis. It is defined in the Strong Concordance as “kindness which bestows upon one what he has not deserved” or as church folk say, “unmerited favor”. When I think over the last 40 years I see God’s grace, his “unmerited favor”, all throughout my life. I’m so grateful!

So, for right now, my blog is called Charis (khar’-ece): Living in God’s Grace. My prayer for this blog is simply that God will have His way in me and through me and that He will use my life: my failures, my successes, my weaknesses, my strengths, and my issues to inspire and encourage others to live everyday in His Grace.

I invite you to join me along this journey.

karris