Every time I walk into Dr. Cheng’s office, I get the same feeling. My heart drops to the pit of my stomach and the feeling of fear overwhelms me. And this time is no different. Even though it’s been more than eleven years since my daughter’s eye surgery, I still get that feeling. The same feeling I had when the doctor told my husband and I that our week-old baby needed eye surgery.
I don’t remember a lot about the weeks leading up to her surgery. I can remember sitting in the doctor’s office and listening to him talk about all the possibilities of what could happen and how we could deal with it. I remember him saying that there was less than a 10% chance that he could do the surgery without damaging the lens of her eye.
He had never done a surgery of this kind before
The probability of a successful outcome was low – I didn’t have a lot of hope
So, when Dr. Cheng came into the waiting room and told us that he successfully completed the procedure without damaging the lens of her eye, I was in awe.
The truth is… He was too
During this visit, I asked him if he noticed anything wrong with her pupil. Sometimes when the light hits her eye at a certain angle, I think I see something. I wanted to make sure nothing new was developing. He assured me that everything was fine. He went on to say that there was possibly something he could do to fix the way her pupil looks. Although the lens of her eye wasn’t damaged and her vision wasn’t severely impacted by the surgery, her pupil doesn’t dilate. If you look closely at her eye, especially in the light, you can tell that it’s smaller than the other one.
You can tell that something happened to that eye. That it’s been through something
For a moment, I thought to myself, “It would be great if he could fix her eye so there wouldn’t be a noticeable difference. No one would be able to tell she had surgery. There would be NO REMINDER of everything she went through. NO REMINDER of all the hurt and pain. NO REMINDER of all the doctor visits. No REMINDER of all the tears.
As Dr. Cheng continued to talk, he concluded that the risks of another surgery would be too great. Especially since it was only for cosmetic purposes.
And the visit was over. And I was relieved that she was doing well. And we went home
Later that day I was thinking about what life would be like if I couldn’t see the slight imperfection in my daughter’s eye. If I didn’t have the daily REMINDER that God still performs miracles. That even when it is statistically unlikely – God is still able. When my faith is tested and the pressures of life wear me down, I have a REMINDER that GOD can do all things.
The truth is… I need this daily REMINDER in my life
Dear Lord,
Thank you for the REMINDERS in my life. The situations and circumstances that occur to serve as an ever-present REMINDER of your goodness and faithfulness. Even though they are painful and difficult to endure, I know you are working for my good. And for that… I am grateful!
“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose” (Romans 8:28, NIV Version).
karris
Last week my 5-year-old daughter wanted to play a game. She went into the garage, where we keep all our games, and said, “Let’s play LIFE”. I responded, “Let’s play another game. LIFE isn’t a game for little kids. It’s too hard”. She said, “I can play it. I can play it. I really want to play LIFE”.
