MY STORY – PART TWO

For the most part, those few years of my life are a faint memory. A hazy dream. At times, it’s hard to recall what really happened. Over the last twenty years, I’ve buried the memories so deep down inside that they don’t seem real. They’ve been erased. As if they never happened.

As if I was never there. At that church. With those people

But I was there. And it did happen. And as hard as I try to forget. There are remnants. All over my life. I thought I could walk away. But God won’t let me.

He is chasing me. I’m tired of running

And on that day. With my counselor. At the urging of my executive coach. I turned back. And faced it. Faced it all.

I was only twenty-three

I just earned my Master’s Degree

I was an ordained minister

Called to share the gospel

He was the pastor 

He was married

He had children

He was the spiritual leader 

But he pursued me

And I allowed myself to be pursued

He said he loved me

I thought he did

I was young

I was naive

I could not handle it

I cracked

And started to leak

He didn’t like the mess

So he asked me to leave

And he took my license

And I walked away

Away from him

Away from that church

And away from the calling on my life

I repented 

God forgave me

But I didn’t feel forgiven

So I ran

Fast

And put all my effort

Into building a career 

And I pressed on 

As though she never existed

For twenty years

***

God is chasing me

And I can’t forget the girl

God won’t let me

And He reminds me

That She’s Still There

And worth the effort

TO RESCUE

***

And so today

I OWN my story

As an act of STRENGTH

And I move forward

LIVING IN GOD’S GRACE

⁸ Concerning this I implored the Lord three times that it might leave me.⁹ And He has said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.” Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast ^[a]about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me.¹⁰ Therefore I am well content with weaknesses, with ^[b]insults, with distresses, with persecutions, with difficulties, for Christ’s sake; for when I am weak, then I am strong. (2 Corinthians 12:8-10 NASB)

Karris